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Katrina Tests America

NEW ORLEANS, LA - Initial relief turned to panic when the Levees that protect New Orleans from Lake Pontchartrain began to fail several hours after Katrina had passed through the city. 

Katrina proved overwhelming.

Mayor Ray Nagin leapt into action, criticizing everyone he could think of in a governmental position above his, including dignitaries of foreign nations.  The essential task of deflecting blame took up roughly all his time.

Meanwhile, Governor Kathleen Blanco called for 40,000 National Guardsmen to come in and shoot looters and other criminals who had gone into rape and pillage mode moments after Katrina passed through.

Of course, the massive majority of people simply went about seeking and providing help, and doing the best they could in a very challenging situation, which isn't very headline worthy.

Chief Justice Rehnquist Dies

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the midst of Hurricane Katrina coverage came the news that William H. Rehnquist succumbed to cancer.  This gives Bush a second court vacancy to fill, as Justice Sandra Day O'Connor retired earlier this year.

The timing is unfortunate.  With politicians already needlessly politicizing the relief effort surrounding Katrina, the addition of a Supreme Court vacancy will only exacerbate the ugliness.  

Senator Kennedy has already suggested that Bush is personally responsible for global warming, which he says caused Katrina and most forms of cancer.  In Kennedy's defense, he was drunk at the time.

Columns                                      

Christobol - Katrina

Gertrude Sez

Shocker:  U.N. Unable to Resolve Iran Nuclear Issue

MOSCOW, RUSSIA - The threat to refer Iran to the U.N. Security Council for the possible imposition of wordy sanctions lost its only tooth when the Russian Foreign Ministry announced that it saw no reason to take up the case.

This is how Iran might look from a pretty space camera.

Russia, as a permanent member of the Security Council, holds a veto vote over any activities taken therein.  

This leaves only the U.N. Fuzzy Bunny Council, which can vote to withhold Iran's participant's ribbon.

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Some Celebs Apparently Don't Care

FROGS BREACHES, NH  -  In the aftermath of Katrina, we've seen swift responses from entertainers like Harry Connick, Jr., and Ellen Degenerous.  We've even got a fund co-sponsored by former presidents Bush and Clinton.

Heck, even Barry Manilow, who much of America had presumed dead, is matching relief funds.

Which brings up the question:  What about everyone else?  Is it fair to say that because we haven't seen headlines indicating that say, Tom Cruise, is providing vitamins for victims that he simply does not care?

I say yes.

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Madame Bovine knew about Katrina, but thought everyone would just listen to the weather guys.  Don't blame Madame Bovine. 

Found:  A great recipe for celery.  It's all about how you cook the bacon.  

Helen:  You know I never really liked Caroline, right?  That was just a joke.  My heart has always belonged to you, and now I'd like some other parts of me to belong to you as well.

Would you like the secret of easy wealth?  Come to the Banquet Hall at the Motel 6 on Tuesday evening at 5pm.  Bring a good pair of shoes.

SWF: Seeks handsome rich man with a kind personality who doesn't mind if I run off to Vegas with the pool boy every so often.

 Dr. Fooze can teach you guaranteed winning strategies for paper football!  How can you flick it so that you make up to 40% of your field goal attempts?  Fooze knows.

Larry:  It's not what it looked like.  Your brother and I were only having sex.