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Katrina Hits Louisiana

EMPIRE, LA - Katrina dropped to category four status just before making landfall just east of New Orleans.  The storm carries 140mph winds and is expected to cause considerable flooding, especially in Mississippi. 

Katrina is about the size of Texas, only bigger.

Every major news network has reporters on the scene, and you can hear the disappointment in their voices as they report that biblical disaster has not yet occurred at their station.

Most concern focuses on the city of New Orleans, which is actually nine feet below sea level even without the help of a storm, which is why you meet so many merpeople there.

Here's hoping the news updates are boring.

Who Will Help The Casinos? 

NEW ORLEANS, LA - A lot of attention will be paid to the individual families who are rendered homeless by hurricane Katrina, with moving images and interviews populating every newspaper in America.

One victim will not be so well documented:  The Casinos.  The industry that specializes in taking money from the poor and undereducated is facing a loss of millions of dollars every day while their customers are too busy worrying about a complete loss of everything they've ever had to yank the arm of a slot machine.

Sure, you may have trouble feeling bad for companies that take in millions of dollars a day feeding on the desperation of people who do not understand math, but that's only because you probably don't make millions of dollars a day feeding on people who do not understand math.

Columns                                      

Christobol - Da Ball, Da Ball

Gertrude Sez

Afghan Farm Aid Needed to Help Opium Growers

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN - Efforts to reduce the production of opium in Afghanistan have succeeded somewhat, which is causing a bit of a cash crunch for farmers there.

Unfortunately, for every pound of opium eliminated, it takes 100 bazillion pounds of corn to replace the cash value.

Farmers who have voluntarily eliminated poppy fields under the threat of death are now facing a long season of eating whatever they grew, and also wearing it as clothing, and building a house from it.

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Protesters May Come Through Waco!

WACO, TX  -  Camp Casey will uproot from Crawford on Wednesday and take its celebrity packed protest on a bus tour to Washington, D.C.

Along the way, some lucky cities will enjoy the economic boom that only a bus full of angry people can bring.

Coffee, snack foods, and bathroom breaks are almost always hot items when a bus makes a stop.  When it's a protest bus, that only increases.  That's because the stop usually is extended so that pithy rhymes can be shouted and celebrities can pose.

The latest word from Cindy Sheehan is that she'd like to go be snubbed by Senator Delay in Houston next, and the fastest path for that brings her right through Waco!  Maybe now we'll be known for something other than David Koresh.

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